How Embracing My Failures Helped Me To Become More Confident

Back then, I always thought my life would be in ruins if I let a single failure take place. Surely most of us grew up in an environment where failures are unforgivable, be it at home or school. Let’s take a trip down memory lane. Back then, our sole focus was to excel in examinations. Grades were the determining factor of success - an ‘A’ means you’re smart, a ‘B’ means you’re not good enough, and a ‘C’ and below mean you’ve failed and nothing more. Eventually, this thinking has been brought to our college days or into our careers where even the tiniest reminiscence of past failures would hinder our determination to be better.

I used to see a world that is only black and white. In a world where I see everything is labelled either a success or failure, I find it hard to admit my failures as a result. Why so? Here’s why - admitting a failure would make me feel vulnerable. My confidence level would plummet to the ground. Hence, I assumed that owning up to it would be the scariest thing in the world. After all, no one likes to expose their flaws. However, I had forgotten one important thing - failure is what makes us human. Having that in mind, I soon realized that changing the way I perceive failures can also help me recover or even boost up my confidence.

 

1. Failure gives the most valuable lessons.

I’ve always believed that lessons that come from experience are the most valuable one could gain. Failures too are part of the experience. It’s okay to be upset about it but sometimes we get too caught up victimizing ourselves which only makes us repeat the same mistakes, over and over again. Whenever something goes wrong, I get upset for a while and then I ask myself “What can I learn from this?” so I can make a mental note to minimize those mistakes from happening again.

 

2. Failure reminds us of our place.

Failures serve as a good reminder to us. Whenever I’m on a winning streak, I tend to get ahead of myself by thinking that nothing could stop me. As always, that’s exactly when everything would hit rock bottom and I’d be put in my place. A series of successes can get the best of us until we’d forget the importance of gratitude. In showing how grateful we are for our gifts, it allows us to sustain them as well.

 

3. Failure encourages us to take risks.

As the saying goes in the song Fix You by Coldplay, “when you try your best, but you don’t succeed”. There would be times when I experience failure, I become afraid of trying. As previously mentioned, disappointment can hinder the process of improving. There will always be trial and error when we want to achieve something. After all, success does not come unless we take ‘a leap of faith’.

 

4. Failure makes success taste even better.

Let’s lay out the scenario - you’ve experienced failure, you learn from it, you try things differently and you finally succeed. How does that feel? I can say that it feels absolutely amazing! You look back to see all the hardships you’ve faced in order to achieve something and you just know you deserve every bit of it. Moreover, you’ve also found your true capabilities which you may not realize you had in you. There is nothing more powerful than finding yourself and that is another success to deserve.

 

5. Failure inspires us constantly.

Last but not least, a failure can be an inspiration for future endeavours instead of a stain of the past. I can’t deny that some of my previous mistakes can bring up bad memories but they are also a self-reminder to avoid them from happening again. When we own our mistakes, we know exactly what we need to do and which areas need work.

 

The journey to success does not exclude failure. All the more the reason why we should encourage ourselves to embrace them. Without the presence of failure, there will be no room left to grow and we’d stick to what we only know. Embracing failures does not mean that the act itself defines us. But, it is the acceptance and how we manage it onwards that shapes us into the person we aspire to become.